Corn Cob Bob

I'm on Facebook!

2009-04-23T20:59:00.000-07:00

Wow! Just when you think the old corn boy is dead, he pops right back up on facebook! Apparently, I have a lot of friends too. Sweet Corn! Now I've just gotta figure out how the heck I log in to that thing...

Barack Obama and Corn Cob Bob

2008-11-20T17:30:00.000-08:00

Barack Obama and Corn Cob Bob on the same page? It's true if you follow the link above. Yes, I voted for the man, but not just because I'm corn. I voted for him because he promised to give me change, and I need every nickel I can get my hand's on, especially now that gas prices have dropped. We gotta get everyone using corn-based fuels again, and THIS ISN'T HELPING!!!

Seriously though, it's time we all sat back, and had a tall glass of lemonade, and a churro.

Party Like a Rock Star

2008-03-17T16:43:00.000-07:00

This guy doesn't even LOOK like me, and yet uses my name. The nerve!!!

(the song sucks too, by the way)

Happy Corn Cob Balloon

2007-08-20T14:40:00.000-07:00

So, I'm walking around in my local Ralph's grocery store, when suddenly I spot one of these guys (see picture) above me. Yes, its a large mylar corn-on-the-cob balloon, with a grin big enough to make anyone smile. I wondered "why is that corn smiling?" ... and then I noticed something.

The nozzle to the balloon is between the corn's "legs", and though it doesn't show up very well in the picture here, it's a good 3" long (for a 33" tall balloon, that's a pretty good size, trust me). To make matters worse, this is also where the balloon tie string/ribbon was attached.

Yes, Mr. Corn is having a good day.

Get in your car and drive!!

2007-08-07T09:48:00.000-07:00

Do you bike to work, happy in the knowledge that you aren't contributing to global warming? After all, you aren't dumping pollution into the air, unlike that hummer that just nearly ran you over. But wait, what's that:

Food production is now so energy-intensive that more carbon is emitted providing a person with enough calories to walk to the shops than a car would emit over the same distance. The climate could benefit if people avoided exercise, ate less and became couch potatoes.

So you mean to tell me that it takes (gasp) energy to keep a person running?!? Say it isn't so!!!

Ah, don't worry about it. Come to my place, and we'll sit on my porch, and watch the sunset over an ice-cold glass of carbon-free raspberry lemonade. Mmmmm, taste that raspberry sweetness.

Just stick your cans in my car!

2007-05-17T12:03:00.000-07:00

This is an interesting new way to run a car:

An EE professor at Purdue University has found a way to produce hydrogen that replaces the need for gasoline by mixing water with beads of an aluminum-gallium alloy. The discovery could lead to engines that essentially burn water, instead of gasoline, since the gallium is not consumed in the reaction and the aluminum can be recycled.

Hey Dewkid: you could fill your car up with water, and empty cans of Mountain Dew, and be totally gas free! Of course, you'd be passing up on the 5 cent refund value, but it's still probably be cheaper than gas at $4/gallon!

Seriously though, the inventor claims there are no toxic by-products, and can produce 2KWatts power / pound of aluminum.

For a 350-mile trip in an automobile, it would take about 350 pounds of aluminum at a cost of about $60, since the aluminum oxide left over after the reaction could be converted back into aluminum-gallium pellets for reuse.

Hmmm, 350 pounds is a lot of weight that your car would have to drag around everywhere. I'm not convinced this is a useful breakthrough, but I suppose time will tell.

Cornbrator

2007-04-28T17:51:00.000-07:00

This is wrong in so many ways. Nuff said.

Plasma Waste Processing

2007-04-23T13:48:00.000-07:00

This is a pretty neat technology that could really revolutionize waste management on this planet.

The arc in the plasma plume within the vessel can be as high as 30,000 degrees Fahrenheit ... three times hotter than the surface of the Sun. When waste materials are subjected to the intensity of the energy transfer within the vessel, the excitation of the wastes' molecular bonds is so great that the waste materials' molecules break apart into their elemental components (atoms).

... and the biproducts?

The two principal byproducts of the Plasma Converter are a synthesis fuel gas called PCG ™ and an obsidian-like stone, which is non-toxic and non-leachable. Both are commodity products that offer the customer revenue potential. The PCG can be directly used for plant heating or cooling, to make electricity, or to desalinate water, as well as other uses. Additionally, the PCG can be used to make hydrogen or methanol. The obsidian-like stone can be sold to the construction and abrasives industries.

Keen! I want to clean out my garage, run it through this baby, and keep the stone as a souvenier! I wonder how much electricity the PCG can make - in other words, can this machine power itself with the waste it processes?

ZAP-X SUv

2007-04-20T10:00:00.000-07:00

With gas prices continuing to shoot upwards, this kind of vehicle is looking more and more attractive.

Potentially charged in just 10 minutes, the ZAP-X will have a 350 mile range on a single “tank” of electrons and develop the equivalent of 644bhp, making its 155mph top-speed sound all too feasible. Four-wheel drive should hopefully keep that fancy body stuck to the road, too.

My only problem, is the color. I hope they have it bright corn-yellow, with green trim. I'm also wondering if there is enough head room in there for me... I need a lot of space for my corn shaped head.

For more cool ZAP cars take a look at the ZapWorld website!

YES on Clean Energy

2006-06-23T11:45:00.000-07:00

I joke a lot on this blog, but this is something YOU should take seriously. It's time to remove the big oil company's stranglehold on America, and get serious about using alternative fuels!! Ethanol/FlexFuel technology is here NOW and needs to be implemented on the grand scale. Imagine having a choice between fuels at the gas station: $4.00 for gasoline, or $1.79 for Ethanol? Which would you pick?

Let's remove our dependance on foreign oil, and get SERIOUS about our future. Cleaner air, smarter economy, and more money for our American farmers!! Brazil is ALREADY DOING THIS, so WHY DONT WE!?!?!

If you haven't already CLICK ON THE LINK above, and get more information!!

Now sit back, and enjoy your popcorn and ice-cold raspberry lemonade.

I'm getting flogged?

2006-06-20T23:40:00.000-07:00

If nothing else, this guy should relax, and have himself a nice hot smores and a glass of sparkling lemon water.

Still, that's a good picture of me there with my woman. What's her name...?

Q&A with Corn Cob Bob

2006-05-19T16:05:00.000-07:00

I don't remember doing this interview, but the information is good! Thanks Jim!

Corn Cob Trend

2006-05-11T09:35:00.000-07:00

Seems the trend of people searching for corn cobs is on the upswing! Time for me to make hay. ... and lemonade! Build it, and they will come.

The Corn Cob Challenge

2006-03-23T14:25:00.000-08:00

This isn't your run-of-the-mill contest, this is the Corn Cob Challenge!

"Contestants Jen and Earl compete to see who is most entertaining while eating corn off the cob. This is a style competition, not a race!"

You may want to keep the kids in the other room when you watch this video (its a BIT racy). Say Jen, come to my place, and I'll give you a challenge!

Nah, I'm just jokin. Pour another quart of oil in that tractor and ride off into the field. Good farmin!

Cornputer

2006-03-22T14:02:00.000-08:00

Hmmm, sounds like something I could use:

The storage unit is a corn cob with various kernels punched out/left in to represent ones and zeros. The cob is held via those little corn forks, except it can rotate freely around its long axis so that a given row can be aligned beneath a bar on which rides a belt-driven read-head. The read-head is a light sensor that feeds into a small microcontroller that uses a dynamic algorithm both to position the head axially and linearly over the kernels, and to judge kernel presence/absence. The controller must contain logic to identify kernel spacing, similar to timing recovery in an analog modulated bit stream.

Not sure what I'd use it for... Maybe for controlling my robot corn army! Oh wait, I didn't just say that. Have a corn dog and some corn brandy!

The Corn Army

2006-02-23T21:37:00.000-08:00

Hats off to Snabby for this link! In one of Strongbad's many hidden links, there is a reference to the Corn Army I am rais ... er ... ficticious Corn Army!

Corncob 3D

2006-02-17T18:04:00.000-08:00

At first, I thought I might have found me a mate, but alas, its just a computer game:

"Corncob 3D/Deluxe is an early flight sim where WW2 never happened because Hitler had a fatal injury in his youth. However, in it's place, aliens have decided to invade Earth (again) because they need someone to clean their toilets (not really a joke). However, despite the fact that they can travel light years in a short span of time, they can only seem to muster projectile weapons in their invasion, and a simple 500 lbs. bomb can blow up most of their structures. Therefore, they have been unable to completely take over as of yet. Also, out of all of the planes that were developed during World War II, the only one to make it into this alternate universe is F4U Corsair. And this sets the stage for you. You come on to the scene as a pilot fighting against the aliens, based at locations dangerously near the front lines. In Corncob Deluxe, these locations include a grassland, a wasteland, an area in which missions can only be flown at night, and the aircraft testing area at White Sands, New Mexico.

The Cornulator

2006-02-10T10:27:00.000-08:00

This nifty tool will tell you how many cobs of corn it will take to run your FlexFuel car or truck.

While you are there, check out the Video Cobcast for the latest in corn technology!

Let's cornulate!

Googlin' Corn Cob Bob

2006-02-01T17:35:00.000-08:00

It's taken awhile, but now if you google for "Corn Cob Bob", a link to this blog is in the top ten! Hooray!

I think I may have to change my jeans.

Ancient Corn Cobs Unlock Riddle

2006-01-31T13:01:00.000-08:00

These people didn't have to worry about gasoline prices, or using alternative fuels. They just had to carry their corn, so they wouldn't starve on the job! Which reminds me, I've got some cobs in the pot waiting for some good eatin. Mmmmm cobs.

Corn Cob Hygeine

2006-01-30T21:57:00.000-08:00

"I've heard that the use of dry corn cobs was a fairly popular choice before the advent of toilet paper. It may not have been used by the Natives but it was apparently practiced by early settlers in North America. Once the kernels have been taken off and the cob allowed to dry, the remaining kernel husk, or what ever it's called, on the cob is fairly soft. I don't know how comfortable it would have been, but it sounds a lot more pleasant to use than a rock, smooth stick, or snow!" - Michael Teal

Now wait just a second there!!

Corn Cob Topia

2006-01-05T13:36:00.000-08:00

Someday, these buildings will dominate the surface of the earth as my gnarly mutant cobs march into the cities, and enslave the human race!! Mwuu haah haah!!!!

Just kidding! Chill, and have yourself a nice hot buttered corn-on-the-cob with a glass of lemonade!

Mmmm Human

2006-01-05T13:29:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of me shortly before I devoured a fan of mine. You don't think I survive on Corn alone, do you?

The New Prize: Alternative Fuels

2005-09-13T11:57:00.000-07:00

Another photo op for yours truly! Check out what one of my cousin's did recently:

Gregory J. Cobb recently replaced premium gasoline pumps at two of his five Indiana stations with E85. At one station near South Bend, he said, he was selling 24,000 gallons of E85 a month compared with the 1,700 gallons of premium gas he had been selling.

You go Mr. Cobb!!

Also mentioned in this article is how Comedy Central treated me recently:

The banning of Corn Cob Bob, who looks like a farmer with a corncob head, inspired a recent segment on the "Daily Show" on Comedy Central, culminating with the mock execution of the mascot by the comedian Rob Corddry.

"This world was never going to treat Corn Cob Bob fairly," explained Mr. Corddry, as soft piano music trilled in the background. "I wanted to show him a better place."

How very true. Thanks, Rob.

A picture of me in the field

2005-09-08T14:18:00.000-07:00

I really need to cut back on those late night corn chip binges!

Corn Cob Play

2005-09-08T14:11:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from a corny play about me:

PAT O' BUTTER
Food comes from the grocery store.

CORN COB BOB
Pat, you BUY food in the grocery
store. It doesn't grow there.

PAT O' BUTTER
Hellloooo? Why do you think they
call it the GROW...CERY store?

(to the audience)
What a dummy.

CORN COB BOB
Haven't you ever heard of a farmer?

PAT O' BUTTER
You're not gonna sing are you?

CORN COB BOB
Well, I do have an ear for music.

PAT O' BUTTER
(to the audience)
And a kernel for a brain.

Corn Cob Bob smiles, then SINGS to the tune of "Home on the
Range" --

CORN COB BOB
Oh, yes I was born in the Springtime so warm.
When the farmer put seeds in the ground.
With water and sun, my young sprout quickly sprung.
And by Fall I was grocery store bound.

PAT O' BUTTER
I'm not singing that corny song.

With a tug from Corn, Pat O' Butter suddenly sits upright
and SINGS --

PAT O' BUTTER
Home, Home On The Farm.

SFX. COW MOOING STAGE LEFT. Pat O'Butter looks stage left.

CORN COB BOB
(singing)
Where the cows graze and seeds go to sow.

Corn-Cob Dolls

2005-08-30T11:54:00.000-07:00

I'm loved by children all over, that's why bringing a little extra corn cob lovin into your home is all you need to combat the evil that is television today.

Who wouldn't love a doll with "a corn cob body", "a dried apple for a head" and "inverted rose tree thorns" for eyes and mouth? I mean, come on: THORN EYES?!? Nothing is more cuddly than that!

Awww, poor little Timmy got stuck by his corn cob doll. That will teach him to try and poke my ... er... the dolls eyes out!!

Gnarly Mutant Cob

2005-08-29T11:49:00.000-07:00

Boy, those scientists have sure been busy looking into my evolutionary history! Disrupting the ramosa1 gene is all it took to turn your friendly everyday Corn on the Cob into the gnarly mutant cob of the night!

Evolution rocks!

Korn!

2005-08-18T12:10:00.000-07:00

Can't be a corn man without a little corn music! The Korn site linked above might be offensive to some, but not nearly as offensive as a gas hog getting under 10 mpg! Wheeeee!

How about a game of Cornhole!

2005-08-17T11:32:00.000-07:00

How to play Cornhole Scoring

Players stand alongside a board and toss a cornbag (like a beanbag) at the hole in the opposite-facing board.
Each player receives four bags.
A bag in the hole earns 3 points.
A bag that lands on the board but does not go in the hole is 1 point.
A bag that hits the ground first doesn't count.
A bag toss of equal value thrown against an opponent cancels the opponent's points.
Opponents alternate tosses until all eight bags are played.
First player or team to score 21 points wins.

Thanks to Moody over at Snabulus for the link!

Fun Activity!

2005-08-02T10:43:00.000-07:00

Sitting around the house with the kids with nothing to do? Still have those corn cobs laying around from last night's dinner?

Sounds like it's time for some CORN COB PAINTING!!

No brushes needed for this painting and printing activity!

By Kathleen M. Hollenbeck

What you need:

• paper plates (for paint)

• ears of corn (some stripped of kernels, some with kernels)

• tempera paint

• paper (large sheets if available)

What to do:

1. Cover a table with newspaper, and place paper on top.

2. Dip corn cobs in paint, roller-style, and roll along the paper in any direction.

3. Use different colors for a different effect.

4. Compare prints made by cobs with and without kernels.

Learning Benefits

• creative expression

• experimentation

Sounds Delicious!

2005-08-01T14:47:00.001-07:00

Haven't tried it myself, but it sounds delicious!

CORN COB DUMPLINGS
6 cobs of corn 1 stick butter 1/2 can biscuits Salt and pepper to taste Cover ears of corn with water. Boil until tender. Scrape off cob and put scrapings in boiling water. Roll biscuits into 1 inch squares and drop into corn broth. Add salt and pepper to taste. It's Delicious.

Caught Kissin'

2005-08-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

I say it didn't happen! Lies, I tell you, lies!

Chillin with Corn Cob Bob

2005-07-29T13:44:00.000-07:00

Here I am at the 2005 Fuel Ethanol Workshop & Expo. Say, where's Melissa?

The Corn Cob Bob Song

2005-07-28T13:41:00.000-07:00

(A round to the tune of “Three Blind Mice”)

Corn Cob Bob, Corn Cob Bob,
He’s quite the man, He’s quite the man!
Our mascot is working and having fun,
Keeping us smiling as things get done.
Did you ever see such a marvelous one
As Corn Cob Bob?

Some of my Friends

2005-07-25T13:14:00.000-07:00

Pork Chop: This child star offers up a tap-dancing extravaganza while telling us about “The Other White Meat to the tune of “You Are My Sunshine.”

Johnny Rotten: Johnny has got the “been so mistreated, ain’t safe to be reheated blues.” The singer who has seen better days, talks about the dangers of mishandling food.

Tiny The Flying Tomato: Preparing for a launch out of a cannon, this daredevil tomato helps the audience understand how food makes it to the grocery store.

Frankie Rumproast: Being the busy, in demand hunk of beef that he is, Frankie has to make his appearance via satellite. Frankie is being honored with the Lifetime “Yummy” for surviving the olden days. (before meat was packaged, stuffed into cans and preservatives).

The Musical Beans, Pinto and Soy: This duo helps us understand beans get such a bad rap. WARNING: Don’t get too close! You know what happens when you eat too many beans…

... and don't forget me!

Corn Cob Bob, and his little stick of butter PAT: Corn Cob Bob performs his amazing ventriloquist routine with the help of his sidekick Pat. Singing a parody of “Home on the Range,” the two explain where they came from and why they make such a good team.

Welcome!

2005-07-15T13:10:00.000-07:00

I may not be welcome in Canada, but you are welcome here! Bring forth the corn!