The Corn Army

Hats off to Snabby for this link! In one of Strongbad's many hidden links, there is a reference to the Corn Army I am rais ... er ... ficticious Corn Army!

Corncob 3D

At first, I thought I might have found me a mate, but alas, its just a computer game:

"Corncob 3D/Deluxe is an early flight sim where WW2 never happened because Hitler had a fatal injury in his youth. However, in it's place, aliens have decided to invade Earth (again) because they need someone to clean their toilets (not really a joke). However, despite the fact that they can travel light years in a short span of time, they can only seem to muster projectile weapons in their invasion, and a simple 500 lbs. bomb can blow up most of their structures. Therefore, they have been unable to completely take over as of yet. Also, out of all of the planes that were developed during World War II, the only one to make it into this alternate universe is F4U Corsair. And this sets the stage for you. You come on to the scene as a pilot fighting against the aliens, based at locations dangerously near the front lines. In Corncob Deluxe, these locations include a grassland, a wasteland, an area in which missions can only be flown at night, and the aircraft testing area at White Sands, New Mexico.

The Cornulator

This nifty tool will tell you how many cobs of corn it will take to run your FlexFuel car or truck.

While you are there, check out the Video Cobcast for the latest in corn technology!

Let's cornulate!

Googlin' Corn Cob Bob

It's taken awhile, but now if you google for "Corn Cob Bob", a link to this blog is in the top ten! Hooray!

I think I may have to change my jeans.

Ancient Corn Cobs Unlock Riddle

These people didn't have to worry about gasoline prices, or using alternative fuels. They just had to carry their corn, so they wouldn't starve on the job! Which reminds me, I've got some cobs in the pot waiting for some good eatin. Mmmmm cobs.

Corn Cob Hygeine

"I've heard that the use of dry corn cobs was a fairly popular choice before the advent of toilet paper. It may not have been used by the Natives but it was apparently practiced by early settlers in North America. Once the kernels have been taken off and the cob allowed to dry, the remaining kernel husk, or what ever it's called, on the cob is fairly soft. I don't know how comfortable it would have been, but it sounds a lot more pleasant to use than a rock, smooth stick, or snow!" - Michael Teal

Now wait just a second there!!

Corn Cob Topia

Someday, these buildings will dominate the surface of the earth as my gnarly mutant cobs march into the cities, and enslave the human race!! Mwuu haah haah!!!!

Just kidding! Chill, and have yourself a nice hot buttered corn-on-the-cob with a glass of lemonade!

Mmmm Human

This is a picture of me shortly before I devoured a fan of mine. You don't think I survive on Corn alone, do you?

The New Prize: Alternative Fuels

Another photo op for yours truly! Check out what one of my cousin's did recently:

Gregory J. Cobb recently replaced premium gasoline pumps at two of his five Indiana stations with E85. At one station near South Bend, he said, he was selling 24,000 gallons of E85 a month compared with the 1,700 gallons of premium gas he had been selling.

You go Mr. Cobb!!

Also mentioned in this article is how Comedy Central treated me recently:

The banning of Corn Cob Bob, who looks like a farmer with a corncob head, inspired a recent segment on the "Daily Show" on Comedy Central, culminating with the mock execution of the mascot by the comedian Rob Corddry.

"This world was never going to treat Corn Cob Bob fairly," explained Mr. Corddry, as soft piano music trilled in the background. "I wanted to show him a better place."

How very true. Thanks, Rob.

A picture of me in the field

I really need to cut back on those late night corn chip binges!

Corn Cob Play

Excerpt from a corny play about me:

PAT O' BUTTER
Food comes from the grocery store.

CORN COB BOB
Pat, you BUY food in the grocery
store. It doesn't grow there.

PAT O' BUTTER
Hellloooo? Why do you think they
call it the GROW...CERY store?

(to the audience)
What a dummy.

CORN COB BOB
Haven't you ever heard of a farmer?

PAT O' BUTTER
You're not gonna sing are you?

CORN COB BOB
Well, I do have an ear for music.

PAT O' BUTTER
(to the audience)
And a kernel for a brain.

Corn Cob Bob smiles, then SINGS to the tune of "Home on the
Range" --

CORN COB BOB
Oh, yes I was born in the Springtime so warm.
When the farmer put seeds in the ground.
With water and sun, my young sprout quickly sprung.
And by Fall I was grocery store bound.

PAT O' BUTTER
I'm not singing that corny song.

With a tug from Corn, Pat O' Butter suddenly sits upright
and SINGS --

PAT O' BUTTER
Home, Home On The Farm.

SFX. COW MOOING STAGE LEFT. Pat O'Butter looks stage left.

CORN COB BOB
(singing)
Where the cows graze and seeds go to sow.

Corn-Cob Dolls

I'm loved by children all over, that's why bringing a little extra corn cob lovin into your home is all you need to combat the evil that is television today.

Who wouldn't love a doll with "a corn cob body", "a dried apple for a head" and "inverted rose tree thorns" for eyes and mouth? I mean, come on: THORN EYES?!? Nothing is more cuddly than that!

Awww, poor little Timmy got stuck by his corn cob doll. That will teach him to try and poke my ... er... the dolls eyes out!!

Gnarly Mutant Cob

Boy, those scientists have sure been busy looking into my evolutionary history! Disrupting the ramosa1 gene is all it took to turn your friendly everyday Corn on the Cob into the gnarly mutant cob of the night!

Evolution rocks!

Korn!

Can't be a corn man without a little corn music! The Korn site linked above might be offensive to some, but not nearly as offensive as a gas hog getting under 10 mpg! Wheeeee!

How about a game of Cornhole!

How to play Cornhole Scoring

• Players stand alongside a board and toss a cornbag (like a beanbag) at the hole in the opposite-facing board.
• Each player receives four bags.
• A bag in the hole earns 3 points.
• A bag that lands on the board but does not go in the hole is 1 point.
• A bag that hits the ground first doesn't count.
• A bag toss of equal value thrown against an opponent cancels the opponent's points.
• Opponents alternate tosses until all eight bags are played.
• First player or team to score 21 points wins.

Thanks to Moody over at Snabulus for the link!

Fun Activity!

Sitting around the house with the kids with nothing to do? Still have those corn cobs laying around from last night's dinner?

Sounds like it's time for some CORN COB PAINTING!!

No brushes needed for this painting and printing activity!

By Kathleen M. Hollenbeck

What you need:

• paper plates (for paint)

• ears of corn (some stripped of kernels, some with kernels)

• tempera paint

• paper (large sheets if available)

What to do:

1. Cover a table with newspaper, and place paper on top.

2. Dip corn cobs in paint, roller-style, and roll along the paper in any direction.

3. Use different colors for a different effect.

4. Compare prints made by cobs with and without kernels.

Learning Benefits

• creative expression

• experimentation

Sounds Delicious!

Haven't tried it myself, but it sounds delicious!

CORN COB DUMPLINGS
6 cobs of corn 1 stick butter 1/2 can biscuits Salt and pepper to taste Cover ears of corn with water. Boil until tender. Scrape off cob and put scrapings in boiling water. Roll biscuits into 1 inch squares and drop into corn broth. Add salt and pepper to taste. It's Delicious.

Caught Kissin'

I say it didn't happen! Lies, I tell you, lies!

Chillin with Corn Cob Bob

Here I am at the 2005 Fuel Ethanol Workshop & Expo. Say, where's Melissa?

The Corn Cob Bob Song

(A round to the tune of “Three Blind Mice”)

Corn Cob Bob, Corn Cob Bob,
He’s quite the man, He’s quite the man!
Our mascot is working and having fun,
Keeping us smiling as things get done.
Did you ever see such a marvelous one
As Corn Cob Bob?