Happy Corn Cob Balloon

So, I'm walking around in my local Ralph's grocery store, when suddenly I spot one of these guys (see picture) above me. Yes, its a large mylar corn-on-the-cob balloon, with a grin big enough to make anyone smile. I wondered "why is that corn smiling?" ... and then I noticed something.

The nozzle to the balloon is between the corn's "legs", and though it doesn't show up very well in the picture here, it's a good 3" long (for a 33" tall balloon, that's a pretty good size, trust me). To make matters worse, this is also where the balloon tie string/ribbon was attached.

Yes, Mr. Corn is having a good day.

Get in your car and drive!!

Do you bike to work, happy in the knowledge that you aren't contributing to global warming? After all, you aren't dumping pollution into the air, unlike that hummer that just nearly ran you over. But wait, what's that:

Food production is now so energy-intensive that more carbon is emitted providing a person with enough calories to walk to the shops than a car would emit over the same distance. The climate could benefit if people avoided exercise, ate less and became couch potatoes.

So you mean to tell me that it takes (gasp) energy to keep a person running?!? Say it isn't so!!!

Ah, don't worry about it. Come to my place, and we'll sit on my porch, and watch the sunset over an ice-cold glass of carbon-free raspberry lemonade. Mmmmm, taste that raspberry sweetness.