Corn Cob Play

Excerpt from a corny play about me:

PAT O' BUTTER
Food comes from the grocery store.

CORN COB BOB
Pat, you BUY food in the grocery
store. It doesn't grow there.

PAT O' BUTTER
Hellloooo? Why do you think they
call it the GROW...CERY store?

(to the audience)
What a dummy.

CORN COB BOB
Haven't you ever heard of a farmer?

PAT O' BUTTER
You're not gonna sing are you?

CORN COB BOB
Well, I do have an ear for music.

PAT O' BUTTER
(to the audience)
And a kernel for a brain.

Corn Cob Bob smiles, then SINGS to the tune of "Home on the
Range" --

CORN COB BOB
Oh, yes I was born in the Springtime so warm.
When the farmer put seeds in the ground.
With water and sun, my young sprout quickly sprung.
And by Fall I was grocery store bound.

PAT O' BUTTER
I'm not singing that corny song.

With a tug from Corn, Pat O' Butter suddenly sits upright
and SINGS --

PAT O' BUTTER
Home, Home On The Farm.

SFX. COW MOOING STAGE LEFT. Pat O'Butter looks stage left.

CORN COB BOB
(singing)
Where the cows graze and seeds go to sow.